Trash My Heart

by Abbi Rajasekhar Trio

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Hello, Friends!! THANK YOU THANK YOU for checking out 'Trash My Heart'!!!

'Trash My Heart' is by far the most collaborative project I've ever worked on. I went through my normal process of hiding away for a while, writing the tunes, and creating the foundation of the arrangements. Rebecca and Charity took to the songs straight away- I wrote the songs with their voices and our chemistry in mind so it was a dream working on this album with them. I thought them my ideas and often they tweaked and perfected their own harmony lines to make the dreamy harmony that is the backbone of 'Trash My Heart'. Then I once again connected with Jordan Wankel (engineer and producing partner from my last record, 'David') and between the two of us we dig in to old record and fleshed out our idea of neighborhood of albums and sounds we wanted our song to live in. Working with Jordan is wonderful- he is a treasure trove of ideas, musical references, and helpful questions and suggestions that make the creative process exciting, unexpected, and always stretching my abilities imaginatively and technically.

For the first time ever, I finally realized that I shouldn't try to play all of the instruments and do everything on my own- there are SO MANY amazing folks I can reach out to who are amazing at their instruments and can play them better than I could ever hope to accomplish:) Jordan wrote and played all of the electric guitar parts on the record. His performances on this record are beautiful and iconic. I'm so honored that these beautiful moments are on this album. I found an amazing rhythm section: Ryan Roberts on drums and Jake Gordon on bass. They were incredible and the foundation they laid for the record gave Jordan and I the freedom to explore and dream as far as we could for the rest of the arrangements. Ruth and Rachel Hogle- twin string players who's sweet personalities and crazy good technique makes them the ideal people who you would want to be in the studio with- their work on this record was incredible- especially because I was literally just humming their parts to them and they were able to learn the parts and record the songs perfectly. I had my friends Jason Gerber on clarinet and Jon Colon did a whistling solo for me (because I just can't whistle... try as I might...) and Todd Seely on pedal steel these guys are amazing humans and also a dream to work with.

The album itself is an exploration of heartache songs. I've never been good at expressing my own feelings... especially the hard ugly ones. I think that's why I have such an easier time writing songs for and about other people or writing from another person's point of view. I had to stretch myself to explore my sadness and be able to write truthful songs. So, I wrote about being dumped, living in a bad relationship, losing loved ones, and unrequited love... too many of us have too much experience with these. But never fear- this record won't give you the blues! The arrangements are so lovely and dreamy that you will feel held, comforted, and hopefully encouraged.

I really hope you enjoy this record- it means the world to me and I'm so happy to share it with you!


released May 14, 2015

All songs for 'Trash My Heart' written and co-produced and arranged by: Abbi Rajasekhar
Lead vocals and all acoustic guitar, percussion, piano and many more random instruments and parts by: Abbi Rajasekhar

All featured backing vocals by: Rebecca Rajasekhar and Charity Luce

All songs recorded/engineered/co-produced and arranged by: Jordan Wankel
Multiple instrumental performances (too many to name) as well as ALL electric guitar performances written and performed by: Jordan Wankel

Mastering by: Jon Visger

Drums: Ryan Roberts
Bass: Jake Gordon
Viola: Rachel Hogle
Cello: Ruth Hogle
Clarinet: Jason Gerber
Whistling: Jon Colon



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Abbi Rajasekhar Chicago, Illinois

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Track Name: Summer Birds
Baby Baby we fell in love in the spring time
Summer sun was up above, we were in heaven
What a wonderful season, every day spent with you

When the summer sun it faded away
So did your love for me, I begged you to stay
Though I knew you never would
I could see in your eye- you were gone for good

Chorus: Now all I want is summer birds once again at my window
Summer birds, helping my heart sing
Summer birds, helping me come around
Summer birds help me come around

In the summer I could get over you
I’d start to laugh again and find someone new
But since its winter now I’m alone and aloof
And I just don’t know what to do

BRIDGE: The sky now, so ugly and grey, I can’t imagine better days
I know that this winter will pass, I just hope I’ll last
Track Name: The Other Kind
I think there should be a basic level of trust
And kindness in conversations between us
I won’t call this love, and we’re not friends
I think we’re sick and we both need some kinda medicine
Where did he go, the man who made me feel alive?
Did he get lost? Is he hurt? Did he die?
You know, what you say to me are things I’d never say
At least I wouldn’t say then that way

CHORUS: I guess love is wild, some times its blind
Your love can make me run like hell all night
and still get left behind
Me and my restless heart, we hit the wall, we saw the sign
Whatever kind of love I’ve tried,
now I’m lookin’ for the other kind

O darling, when you were shining like the sun
I thought we could beat the world and make fools out of everyone
The joke’s on us now, but we’re not laughing
It got so dark out, when did that happen?
Where did he go, the man who made me feel so free?
When did your touch become more curse than cure to me?
Now I know which is the greater sin
To live with the disease or lose the limb

Track Name: Last Night
Last night you said you had some news, somehow I already knew
Whatever you had to say would end up in goodbye
So when you came over and said you where going
I tried so hard to fake that smile
Because I hadn’t seen you that happy in quite a while

Now it wasn’t the first time, we’d whispered away the night
You’d go on all about some far off distant place
You’d get that look in your eye, and smile and sigh
And say some day you’d take that ride
But I never believed you’d go until last night

CHORUS:Cause I could see it in your eye you were already leaving
I could hear it in your voice you were already gone
That was the moment when last night became this morning
That was the moment I knew I was gonna be all alone

Last night under the moon, you told me you’d be leaving soon
You couldn’t wait to pull up all your roots
So I took your hand and listened to your plans
there was nothing else to do
I was losing you, losing you

Track Name: Trash My Heart
You trash my heart, you’re some kind of artist
When I’m trying hardest, that’s just when you disappear
O O O Boy, do you know what you do?

Do you know I remember every word you say?
I remember every plan we make?
And that time, we stayed up and talked all night, I felt like I could fly
I hoped you’d feel the same, but I haven’t heard from you in days

CHORUS: You trash my heart,
You do it so neatly, you do it so sweetly,
it comes so naturally
You trash my heart,
You do it so cooly,
and I feel so foolish for going through this again

Crazy boy, I’m fresh out of good ideas
But whenever I try to leave, you change my mind so easily
So if I’m not, the one that you want the most I’d love you to let me know
Cause I don’t want to feel this way and then not hear from you for days

CHORUS: You trash my heart,
You do it so cleanly, its not even meanly
It comes so naturally to you
You trash my heart,
Do you want me to chase you?
Is everything I do wasted on you?
Will you put me through this again?

BRIDGE: This is not the way that it should be,
you swinging back and forth me
And it begins each time its over

You trash my heart, OH
Track Name: Born To Love
Darkness, calling you and I both running through the night
Silver Lover, you’re so graceful in the moonlight I could die
O please, love me, I’ll love you just as well as I am able
But my love, was never enough
You drank the wine but left the whole feast at the table

CHORUS: This heart of mine was made for this
To enfold someone, to hold on to him
To pour my heart out over and over again
I was born to love someone, I was born to love somebody
Even as my heart is being broken
I was born to love someone, I was born to love somebody

I was born to love someone (born to love someone)
I was born to love someone (born to love someone)

Weightless, falling, from your heights I plummeted straight to the ground
Half hearted Lover, you saw my brokenness,
heard that awful crashing sound
Farewell Other, I loved you just as much as I was able
You leave now, you flee now
You drank the wine but left the whole feast at the table