The Other Kind

from by Abbi Rajasekhar Trio

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about

Of all 5 songs on this new record, this one was the headache. I wrote it really quickly. It was one of those rare times when I had focused so resolutely on what I wanted to song to say, that when it came down to putting lyrics on paper, they just flowed out; full verses at a time, the melodic themes wonderfully obvious to me.

I had realized that the record was missing something. Summer Birds, Last Night, and Trash My Heart were all great heartache songs- which was what I wanted for this record. But those 3 songs were whimsical. They told of unfortunate circumstances and youthful heartbreak with hints at nostalgia and loveliness through their tears. I realized that I needed a song about real pain or I wouldn’t feel satisfied with this project. I wanted to be more honest, more vulnerable. I didn’t want to be so protective of myself that I present my heartbreak to the world with a wink and a smile.

After worrying over this for weeks- I finally found the right lyric, “Whatever kind of love I’ve tried, now I’m looking for the other kind.” It was really one of those moments that every writer longs for and loves- when you’ve found the shining turn of phrase that perfectly meets your needs with beauty and rhythm. So, I knew the song I had to write: the tale of attempting to live with the rotting corpse of what used to be love. Telling the truth with no redemptive twist on the end. I hope I achieved that.

The song I ended up with was long- but I couldn’t cut a word or moment out of it. Most of my friends who heard it told me blatantly that it was too long… my instrumental section needed to be cut shorter… its going to make the record drag. I think the only person who never complained about the song was Charity, bless her gentle heart. I struggled. I only take creative advice from people I absolutely trust, so having so many of them cautioning me about this song was something I took really seriously. For better or for worse, I stuck to the song and structure I had initially written.

Recording The Other Kind was so much fun because it wasn’t as clearly leaning towards a specific genre the way Trash My Heart, Summer Birds, and Last Night were. We had lots of directions we could go in. Jordan was worried that it would sound like a cheesy Fleetwood Mac song- I told him I’d take that as a compliment. I’d made a pretty simple demo using influences from everyone from Bon Iver to Justin Townes Earle to Nancy Sinatra and again, The Everly Brothers.

Luckily, I finally came up with a vaguely Spanish sounding classical guitar line to play a melody over the main theme of the song- which lead Jordan and I to lean heavily towards southwestern lonely desperado soundscape. The song sits really nicely at home there. Plus, Jordan- who wrote and performed all of the electric guitar work on this record- got to let loose a little bit and add some darkness, depth, and weirdness in the underpinnings of the arrangement so he is finally happy with this song, too.

lyrics

I think there should be a basic level of trust
And kindness in conversations between us
I won’t call this love, and we’re not friends
I think we’re sick and we both need some kinda medicine
Where did he go, the man who made me feel alive?
Did he get lost? Is he hurt? Did he die?
You know, what you say to me are things I’d never say
At least I wouldn’t say then that way

CHORUS: I guess love is wild, some times its blind
Your love can make me run like hell all night
and still get left behind
Me and my restless heart, we hit the wall, we saw the sign
Whatever kind of love I’ve tried,
now I’m lookin’ for the other kind

O darling, when you were shining like the sun
I thought we could beat the world and make fools out of everyone
The joke’s on us now, but we’re not laughing
It got so dark out, when did that happen?
Where did he go, the man who made me feel so free?
When did your touch become more curse than cure to me?
Now I know which is the greater sin
To live with the disease or lose the limb

CHORUS
BRIDGE
CHORUS

credits

from Trash My Heart, released May 14, 2015

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Abbi Rajasekhar Chicago, Illinois

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